So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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