His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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