i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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