can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
