weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
