i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
