i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
