C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
