I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
