and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I need water and some morals
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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