He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I did not marry a roomba.
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