He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
