Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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