At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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