If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
