I don't usually arrange sex via text message
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
