You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
