he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
