She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
