The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
