I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
