She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
