Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
