I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
