Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
