If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
