I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
