Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
