If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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