i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
