The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
