I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
