Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
