Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
