4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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