I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
