Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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