areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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