You just made me feel so damn special
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
