My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize