fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
