So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
