he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
