You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
we're making bets on your personal life
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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