when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize