Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
