are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
