She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
