yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
