Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
