i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The air taste purple.
Randomize
