quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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