Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
