Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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