We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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