What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
