Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
