you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
