Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
