..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
