boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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