You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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