He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
