PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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