Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
drinking out of a sandbucket again
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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