It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
