shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
