We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im holly from the hills drunk
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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