Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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