drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
