I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
